It’s amazing what people will do for love yet not for themselves…


Walk into a packed room. Ask everyone to think of three people – outside of family – that can count on them no matter what. Then raise the question, do feels unappreciated or taken for-granted by those very people? Many will say “yes”.  Now focus on the group of undervalued and pose one final question: Then why can they count on you? Some think they can’t help it,  but they can; other’s claim it’s in their nature, maybe it is.  I’m sure one thing they would agree on is they’re unselfish. But are you really? We’ve all heard “I’d give my last.” But why?  If you’re without, and it’s scarce on my end, then I’ll give you what I ain’t got so at least…? At least what? I’m still trying to figure out the logic behind that.  Helping someone should never hurt you, and if you’re hurting already, it should never make you worse. No one wants to see people on the street and kids starving. But a lot of us do what we CAN. And that’s the operative word: can.


Life is filled with sacrifices and we’re constantly making adjustments to get along, no matter how well you’re doing. But in this non predictable and ever changing world, one thing that we have total control of is ourselves; more specifically, how we feel about ourselves.


Richard Simmons, the worlds chubbiest trainer, pulled the biggest red herring I’ve ever seen. A flabby man helping millions across the world lose weight. Doubt anyone would rush to sign up and pay for his services if they saw him at his local gym. But you know what he did that took him to those heights? He put himself first. What Richard  understood is to be the best he could be he could not be empty. He lived in an abundance of self-acceptance and liberty. I believe he recognized the root of most problems was the lack of love; in particular love for yourself. If


Let’s reflect. Be transparent with yourself.


– Are you a soap box Giver? Giving to others makes you feel better about yourself, but in a condescending way. They bleat behind closed doors “always asking for something, if they did like I told them then they wouldn’t be in this position. Glad I’m not irresponsible like that.”


– Maybe you’re a Guilted Giver; afraid to say no. You’re circle thinks you’ve got it made. So saying no may not only ruin the friendship, but dampen your well-to-do image in their mind.


– Might you be a genuine giver that gives because you like to. It’s emotionally orgasmic?


– Oh, wait, everyone’s least favorites:The Rescue Givers.  Their ego secretly takes delight in being “the one that everyone comes to”. C’mon we now them.  Pride won’t let them ask anyone cuz in their world they’re the hero.  And when no picks up on what they’re going through – because even after asking ‘what’s wrong’ nine times, they insist every thing is fine – the ‘nobody got me like I got me’ memes and the “I’m putting myself first’ tweets go up.


(Sorry, those kinds really get under my skin)


But maybe you think it’s better to give than receive. Fair enough.  That’s noble. Seemingly unselfish. You just wish everyone could have that view. The world would be a so much better place. Well if everyone had that belief system then, yes, but they don’t. So there goes that. Putting yourself first isn’t a selfish act. Doesn’t mean you’re stingy or arrogant. It benefits everyone, try it.


Now if you can identify with one of those Giver’s mentioned above, don’t beat yourself up. Because you don’t have to look anywhere but in the mirror. So let’s adapt to how things are now. The root of it ends and begins with you. Don’t step on the moon for someone else if you aren’t willing to step off the porch for yourself. Stop being selfish! Put yourself first! Your jollity is imperative to your well being.  Go be well.



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  1. Muchos Gracias for your article post.Really thank you! Awesome.

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